The Thanksgiving Pressure Cooker (And Why Moms Deserve a Break)

Thanksgiving is supposed to be warm, cozy, full of food, laughter, and those “core memories” our kids will talk about when they’re grown. Instead, it often feels like a stress Olympics wrapped in a Hallmark filter.

For moms, it’s… a lot.
The cooking.
The planning.
The hosting.
The schedules.
The side-eye from someone’s aunt.
The constant mental load of “Is everyone having a magical holiday? Am I making it magical enough? Should I be documenting this? Do the kids feel grateful? DID I REMEMBER TO THAW THE DINNER ROLLS?”

Truly, exhausting.

And the pressure? It sneaks up on us. We want to make Thanksgiving special for our kids. We want to carve out meaningful time with our parents. We want our families to feel loved and connected. We want it to feel like a memory worth saving.

But at the same time… We’re also the ones doing everything.

When You’re the Host and the Mom (Pray for Us)

Three years ago, I took over Thanksgiving dinner from my mom, and every year since, I wonder why Past Me thought Present Me had the bandwidth for this.

I do everything… except the turkey. I refuse to be responsible for ruining the star of the show. That level of pressure? No thanks. People will forgive dry mashed potatoes. They will not forgive a dry turkey.

Hosting while being a mom of three is like being the cruise director, the chef, the therapist, and the snack bitch all at once. I love hosting, I genuinely do, but it is WORK. It is loud, nonstop, mentally draining work.

And, listen. I would love nothing more than a peaceful, relaxing, low-stress Thanksgiving where I don’t overthink the tablescape or panic-clean my entire house before guests arrive. But let’s be honest: My Type A personality would never allow it. I’ll be fluffing pillows and hiding clutter up until the moment the doorbell rings.

The In-Law Factor (Moms, I See You)

If you spend the holidays with your in-laws, just know this:
You deserve a medal.
A trophy.
A parade.
At the very least, an uninterrupted nap.

There’s a different kind of emotional labor that comes with hosting, attending, or navigating someone else’s family dynamics. Moms feel that on a cellular level.

We carry the weight of:
• Keeping the kids calm
• Keeping the vibes positive
• Keeping the conversations safe
• Keeping our sanity intact

It’s not easy, and you are not imagining it, holidays with extended family are beautiful and stressful.

The Memory-Making Pressure

The hardest part? The pressure we put on ourselves.

We want our kids to look back and remember:
The laughter.
The love.
The warm kitchen.
The way the house smelled.
The way we were all together.

We also want to honor time with our parents, because that time is precious, and we feel it. We feel how quickly life moves. We want to give them the gift of memories with their grandchildren.

But here’s the truth we always forget:

**Your kids don’t care about the perfect meal. Your parents don’t care about the perfect house. Everyone just wants time with you.**

And that alone is enough.

A Thanksgiving Reminder We All Need

At the end of the day, the only thing that really matters is that we show up.

Not perfectly.
Not effortlessly.
Not Instagram-ready.
Just… present.

Your kids will remember how they felt around you. Your parents will cherish the moments you carved out for them. Your family will appreciate the heart you pour into this holiday, even if the mashed potatoes are lumpy.

So here’s your permission slip:
Give yourself grace.
You’re doing more than enough.
You’re creating memories even when it feels like chaos.
You’re holding everything together in ways no one even sees.

And if Thanksgiving feels overwhelming?
You’re not alone.
You’re human.
You’re a mom.
And you’re doing a damn good job.

Happy Thanksgiving, from my chaotic, loud, Type A heart to yours.